End of the World

It's not far-fetched to talk about a 'fascist'

To an overall interesting post by  carlyinrome thatgillo reposted, she added the link to an impressing and scary analysis, which could easily be dismissed as conspiracy theory, and some commenters did.

I don't, and here is why:

 photo Zeit Artikel_zpsjyr8atnm.png


The comparison of Trump and Hitler is as well-known as it is obvious. But despite knowing all the facts mentioned in the article and being acutely aware of the parallels especially in recent days, it is really chilling to the bone reading it juxtaposed to the analysis Gillo linked to.

I'm so proud of all of those of you who fight, whether it be by marching, donating, sharing informations, engaging politically, contacting representatives, or organizing resistance.

To us outside the US there's not much we can do about it (yet). I have subscribed to the NYT and the WP, donated to Planned Parenthood and ACLU and will donate to the fund 'She Decides' that Lilianne Ploumen, the dutch minister for foreign trade and development co-operation launched (double-dutchess.livejournal.com/15399.html )

My two younger children (10 and 12) 'caught' me donating to ACLU on Monday and were a bit surprised that I donated when they so often hear that I can't afford to go watch a movie at the cinema every two weeks with them. When I told them what ACLU and Planned Parenthood are doing with the money, they insisted that they wanted to help, too, and gave me 10 € each for me to donate for them. Actually this is a theme you can see everywhere - even children are engaging, marching, scribbling signs, and I'm sure mine aren't the only ones donating from their allowance.

There might still be hope after all.

happy dance

Hello friends!

I haven't been here in a while, and I don't even had a good reason for it. Nothing grave happened.

Well, except - election.
It will probably sound weird, what with me not even being American or at least living in America, but it's really the main reason for my absence.

Brexit had shocked me enough for dreading the outcome of the US election and getting kind of obsessed with everything I could get my hand on the weeks before. I so hadn't expected for Brexit to happen, and the similarities in the way everything developed and in the way I felt about it were too striking not to be scared.

After election night (well, night over here in Germany), that I hadn't slept at all but sat paralyzed in front of my computer, I was in shock for days.
I tried to tell some of my friends in comments to their own shocked posts, but I kind of couldn't express adequately how I felt, especially with not being American, so not as affected as they are. Which, of course, is true, but it doesn't feel that way.

I've been born in 1966 and grew up in the middle of Cold War, spending my whole youth during the coldest times of all. It were really scary times, maybe in Germany even scarier than elsewhere since both parts of our country kind of were pawns in the game, and it was here where the nuclear weapons would've hit first. I wasn't even particularly politically interested back then, but no one didn't care about politics at all - the threat was much too real and much too every-day present. We all went to demonstrations on a regular basis since we were ten (quick comparison to my kids, between ten and 18 years old - not one of them ever was on a demo). The end of the Cold War was a relief that younger people probably can't comprehend.

And now - for the first time since those days I feel fear about the future. And much worse than back then even, and it has a lot to do with Trump being elected. Every decision he made until now, every single calling he announced, every tweet he posts, every word he speaks shows how real the threat this time is. A lot of it concerns the US only, of course. These parts are bad enough, and even if I personally don't have to suffer through this does it make me beyond angry on behalf of all Americans, and especially those on my flist.

But what really scares me is the massive change of America's role in the world that will happen and the dire consequences it will have in all the world. Russia, Middle East, Israel - I fear that is just the beginning, and it would be naive to expect my home country not to be involved in one way or another.

What also really frightens me is the role of the new media in all of this. It's uncontrollable, and the results have never been so obvious as in November. And again - I fear that this was just the beginning. The elections in Germany and France this year will be the next target, in a time when xenophobia is rising here anyway because of the refugee crisis in Europe. Austria has been the only slight gleam of hope last year, but even there it was close.

And add to all of this the attacks happening in the free world - I often don't know anymore what to tell my kids.

So, anyway. Nothing of this is new to all of you. I just felt the need to explain why I haven't been commenting those last few months as I usually do - I'm sorry for that. I was mostly reading NYT online (and others) in my free time (which isn't that much anyway), and I couldn't muster the mood to read or ogle or comment anything fandom related. I completely missed Fag End's Halloween thing, and the very last prompts over there ever (  :(  ), and I missed even a lot of Seasonal Spuffy. I will try to catch up in the next weeks, at least on the shorter stories (no promises, though; I have no idea how much time I will really have.).

On a completely unrelated note (except if you see it like I do as the last effort of 2016 to screw us over...), I created an account with the same name on Dreamwidth yesterday after I read about the concerning news of LJ's server move to Russia. I'm posting from there now, cross posting everything here. Just in case this whole thing here blows up one day, I don't want to lose all my friends. I'll try to find you all there...I think I finally figured out how to friend you there.

And I wish all of you a very happy new year!

Spuffy Porch

Drabble: Synchronized Moves

I said I would post everything I've written on my LJ bit by bit, so here is the next piece.
This was my very first entry anywhere on LJ, and I was so damn nervous... Since almost everyone on my flist also reads over on Fag Ends, you'll probably all know it already anyway, but I really want to have it all in one place (I had already forgotten about this one...).

Prompt: Synchronised Moves
Setting: BtVS early s6/ around 'All the Way'
Rating: PG 15
Length: 100 words


He kicks, too, the same moment as she does; she sees it from the corner of her eye.

Her demon approaches her with a roar. So does Spike’s, but each deals them several blows, followed by a side kick, moving toward each other, back to back.

They exchange a glance, and then their demons; with a spin kick they introduce themselves to their new opponent. Then they both whirl once more, using the momentum to sever their demon’s heads, Buffy with her sword, Spike with the ax.

They are completely in sync, she thinks, startled.

Dancing on thin ice.

A lot happened...

It's been a while...
I had some busy and exciting weeks, so I just didn't find the time to post anything. Two weeks ago school started again, and the only one of us just going back there as before is my third son (a seventh grader now).
My oldest son graduated from high school in July and starts going to college in October. My second son left junior high school and is a sophomore student at high school now, and my daughter went from elementary to junior high (or middle school? I'm not really clear on what it's called. She's in fifth grade now).

And I, I said 'good bye' to my fourth graders in July, too (they also left elementary) and 'hello' to a new class of first graders last week which will be my class for the next four years.

I'm positively surprised by these students. I'm working in a school in a social hot spot with all the challenges you'd expect to have there, and my last class was - difficult. I loved them, but it took a lot of strength to work with them, even more than usual. The new ones seem to be a lot calmer and ready to observe the rules, and while there were some really aggressive vibes from day one in my last class, this one didn't show any sign of that until now. A LOT better start than four years ago, so I'm pretty happy. Of course there's the highly traumatized refugee boy who kind of does what he wants (and comes when he wants...), but he does it friendly. There's this other refugee boy that doesn't speak much German, but I gladly switched to English for the important things once I realized he speaks some. Also, he smiles all the time and is generally totally cute. Then there's this boy whose stepfather already threatened me and the principal (because we believed his son who said no one had beaten him, go figure), but his son is a little weird, but not aggresive at all. And the others are pretty normal, cute kids. Good times.

Meanwhile I got some more banners *beams* :

banner WE149MC.png
banner WE149BMC.png
Banner SS 74.png

They are all made by the wonderful red_satin_doll, and as always with her banners they are not just gorgeous, but bring out the icons even better than they are solo!

And then there was the first challenge over at btvs_lims, and what I never expected - I survied it, without a single vote against my icon at that! There was really tough competition, awesome icons all around, so I'm beyond happy I still survived! Tonight is the deadline of the second challenge with the voting probably posted tomorrow, so go have a look and maybe even vote.

To complete the good things happening to me lately - another one of my fics has been nominated at wicked_awards ! It was my entry at seasonal spuffy - A New Life. It's not that I see any chance in winning anything there, the competition is way too strong, but just being nominated means someone thought it worthy, and that is just neat! So THANK YOU whoever did it!!! You absolutely made my day!

I forgot to say...

With all the being so happy I totally forgot to mention that nominations will still be open for the rest of the month at wicked_awards !
I really want to encourage you to go over all the fics you loved, and all the art you admired lately and do the creator the honor to nominate them. You will definitely make their day!

It's open for fics and graphics not only for BtVS and Angel, but also for Firely, Stargate, Charmed, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Star Trek, Supernatural, Teen Wolf, and X-Files. It doesn't even need do be new; only past year's winners arn't allowed.

Do it. Go noniate!

More bragging...

I actually couldn't believe it. Even less than the first time, and let me tell you, I checked for five minutes then wether I really understood it right.

I've been nominated again, but this time - for one of my icons! An icon of me is nominated at wicked_awards ! Can you believe that? I still barely can!
It's this one:

Anya looking downicon10.png

I still feel weird with all the bragging, that's usually not my style (and other than certain bleached blonde ones, I really mean that), but I have to tell someone who understands how truly fantastic I feel with this! It's not about getting congrats.
And I don't need to win. Being nominated - I already won.

Whoever did this - thank you so, so much! It was a wonderful present!

Ficlet: see me feel me/ touch me heal me

I realized I didn't post the nominated drabble on my journal yet ...one of these days I'm going to go though my stuff and post the few things I posted elsewhere (including haiku and such...) here too. Even if most people on my flist have read it already, it feels...more complete, somehow.
And I'm starting with this.

The double drabble was written for  sb_fag_ends. It was inspired by the wonderful banner nmcil12 posted over at Seasonal Spuffy: http://seasonal-spuffy.livejournal.com/562061.html . Go have a look at it if you haven't already.

Many thanks to the lovely red_satin_doll who beta read it, despite still being half sick.

Title: see me feel me/ touch me heal me
Prompt: Wishful Thinking
Setting: BtVS s6, around DMP
Rating: PG15
Length: 200 words (plus titles)

see me feel me

Her eyes are closed.

He presses a kiss right beside one, a silent plea to open them, but she turns her head. Striving away from him, always away, with every part she doesn’t need connected to him.

At the same time she clamps him with her legs, hard, punishing him instantly for this audacity, making unmistakably clear which part of him she’s here for. Not his lips.

Not on her face at least.


He only thinks her name, softly, tenderly. Needing to be closer to her, but not daring to say it.

He wishes she would see him.

touch me heal me

She can almost hear him say her name, the same tenderness in his voice that she feels in his hands on her body. She tries to flee from it, to move away from him.

Can’t though. Can’t afford to leave this behind. This brief connection to the world, this brief semblance of life.

His kiss beside her eye burns into her, and she feels tears welling up behind her lids. Can’t shed them, of course. Can’t open her eyes. He already knows too much.

Because however she tries to hide, he always sees her.

She’s afraid she could see him too.

(Titles by The Who)

LIMS-BTVS round 11, sign ups

I did round 10. Got thrown out in the frist challenge. Did the come-back challenge - alas, I didn't come back.
But: It was still fun, and I learned so much that round! The concrit I (and otheres, even though I didn't always agree) got there was kind and so helpful, and I want that again!

So, despite knowing I've no chance in hell to survive even one challenge, I'm still going to do it again:

Sign ups at lims_btvs are still possible, so go over and, well, sign up! The more participate, the more fun it is!